


Of Monks and Monkeys

by pen102



Series: ANBU - Turbluences [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Anbu Hatake Kakashi, Anbu Shiranui Genma, Gen, Humor, Monkey Kung Fu, Monks, Shiranui Genma /Hatake Kakashi if you squint, Though not a dark mission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:47:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23296477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pen102/pseuds/pen102
Summary: Of monks, monkeys and sneaky ninja ways...
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Shiranui Genma
Series: ANBU - Turbluences [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1459090
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Of Monks and Monkeys

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings as always: grammar, spelling, ...

He woke up with a pained groan. The man had no idea how long he had been out of it - it was still night, but.... Every single bone in his body hurt - and apparently there were a LOT more bones inside the human body than Shizune had told him. His left eye was swollen shut, and he had bitten his lip, which felt swollen. So... yeah. Ugly, but he messed up.

The fight had been intense - at least for himself. His opponent must have regarded it as some sort of warm-up before the sun salutation if one considered the fact it had taken the old man like three hits to render him useless, and something like a small thrust with his pinky to send him flying and crushing to... wherever he was now. Ah! The temple. Of course. Why had he let himself get caught again? At least he was still alive, that should count for still being the 'lucky bastard' his partner accused him to be sometimes. Though it hurt his pride a little that he had been left outside the temple on the large square in a rumple - for everyone who happened to pass him to see his failure. He was even sure there were some monkeys in the trees around to laugh at him, too. Or these were just their normal noises.

The starry sky darkened when a well known shock of silver came into sight, the ANBU-mask was removed, and he was greeted by a worried, still half-masked face of Hatake Kakashi.

„You’re late, Copy-Nin!“, Genma grumbled, but it sounded ridiculously close to lisping through his swollen lips.

Said man grinned in hopefully honest embarrassment - the LEAST, in Genma’s eyes.

„I take it that you were caught?“

„You take that correctly! Damn monkey kung fu! Just when I had the statue, that guy came in whirling like a monkey, you should've seen the crazy moves... it was totally distracting. He sent me flying out of the building and chop chop I’m down. Or was it the other way round?“ 

„Well, you’re alive. That’s good, right?“

„Someone like you or Gai would have been helpful. He easily wiped the floor with me, though I managed to grab his cowl for a second. A _proud_ second!“

„Are you able to stand?“

„Are you able to shut up?“

„I take it that’s a no.“

„Why do you sound so eloquent in this situation? And what kind of back-up are you if you weren’t even there!“

„A-haha. I’m here now. And there was never a danger to your life - this being a buddhist temple and all.“

„Awesome! Help me sit up.“

So that’s what Kakashi did. And totally ignoring the other's dark look he lifted one of Genma's arms and let the useless limb drop dramatically back to the ground. „Looks like he blocked some neural nodes... Give time and you’ll be as good as new." He even got the nerve to pat Genma's ruffled hair back." There. All nice and shiny again. Um, is he still here somewhere?“

Genma groaned again and tried to work Kakashi’s distracted reactions out. „You tell me., _back-up_!“

Kakashi snickered. „We are at a temple and there are about two hundred monks living here... Care to enlighten me, which one it was, because, ...um, well?“

„That one who fights like a damn monkey, probably hundreds of years old if you ask me, not a single hair, cowl and prayer beads. Aside from the age - they all look the same.“

„So... You _have_ no idea.“

„No.“

„Hm. Probably a good thing he took the statue back. You shouldn’t have tried to steal it. It’s a holy relic.“

„Now you're talking about morals!? And we BOTH were sent to steal it! Just so that this lord who would love to be an artist can make a copy for a _MUSEUM!_ And if I may remind you: it was YOUR idea to send ME in, captain!“

Kakashi nodded happily and tipped his mouth in thought. „Yes, yes. Lesson learned, no stealing from the monks, we will leave it at that. Or do you wish to fight him again to show you have improved your monkey kung fu?“

„You’ve got to be kidding me. I can barely move. You fight him next time, I’ll watch and laugh.“

Kakashi’s eyes trailed along Genma’s body, foreboding. „Rather not.“

A hair sprang out of Genma’s pig-tail. „I hate you.“

The copy-nin snickered like the maniac he was. „I know you actually don't mean it like that. Let’s go.“ He rubbed his neck. „That is... if you can, ahahaha.“

„First you tell me where you’ve been while I... had to pour out all my taijutsu-skills.“

This time, Kakashi’s _maybe_ embarrassed giggle stirred Genma’s suspicion. And did he smell... With new-found strengths he snaked his hand around Kakashi’s knee to reach into his shuriken-pouch at the hip and snaffled a freshly made cookie. It even was still warm...

„You... You wouldn’t have... right?!“

„Whaat? No. Never. I didn’t steal these from the temple kitchen! I just... tried a different approach and maybe bonded a little with a monk or two over philosophy and stuff and flowers and ways of life, but I’m sure more details would only bore you-“

„Try me!“

“... Weeeell... Maybe I met this monk not too far away from here, who invited me to drink tea with him and his super old and super wise and super monkey like monk-friend that joined us a little later, to share some secrets of life and...“ 

Genma’s eyes grew wide.

„Yeah... Well.... How do I say it...?“

„Just. Get. It. Out!“

The copy-nin reached into his back pouch and took out the stone statue, a laughing monkey. „I asked them to borrow it to me. So they did.“

It must have been the fact that the _super old and super wise and super monkey like monk-friend_ had blocked his ability to move much and maybe the fact, that there wasn’t currently a senbon between his lips, that he didn’t turn Kakashi into a drooling and delirious pin cushion to block all the other’s chakra points and paralyze him, before letting him dangle off the rooftop of one of the high temples, coated in anything nice and sweet that would attract every single mountain monkey to torture the traitor until nothing of that crazy giggle was left... Oh, the dark joys of evilness forged by ANBU... But for now: only in his mind. He couldn’t move enough for awesome badass stunts like that.

„I hate you. I hate your shitty communication-skills-“

„Improvisation-skills,“ Kakashi tried to interject, but was ignored.

„I hate it!“

„A-haha. Don’t be like that. We were warned that the monks here are really, really awesome battle monks... And diplomacy never hurt anyone...-“

With a ridiculous wiggle of his shoulder, Genma somehow managed to throw his arm over his eyes. „I want Raidou back as my mission partner.“

„Naah, would only be half the fun. Soooo.... anything broken?“ He poked Genma's upper arm with a pestering finger.

„No.“

That was all he needed. Kakashi happily lifted the tokubetsu up bridal style and started walking. „So nothing out of the ordinary at the big training square in front of the temple of... battle monks. Some small bruises here and there, especially for those who tried to steal... So let’s head back home, the mission’s complete.“

„Still hate you.“

„I happen to know you don’t mean it like that.“

„I do!“

„No, you don’t!“

„Your diplomacy is shitty.“

„It’s called improvisation.“

Genma groaned again. „I give up. Do what you want!“

The copy-nin smiled happily at him. „See? I’m thaat good at it.“

**Author's Note:**

> After watching a video about shaolin monks and the awesome but slightly crazy movements of monkey kung fu, I couldn't help myself but write a little something about it. And yes: total free form of almost everything.


End file.
